In case you missed this gem of a video, here it is in all its glory: PAULA FUCKING DEEN (Russ’ mother, grandmother AND aunt) HIT IN THE FACE WITH A FUCKING FLYING HAM! Yes, a ham. Flew. Through. The. Air. And. Connected. With. Paula. Fucking. “I Fry Butter.” Deen’s. FACE! Yes.

“Hey, y’aaalllllllllllllll, it was a travesty, y’aaaalllllll. I didn’t know they were throwing the hamms. So, I took that ham, smothered it in butter, y’alaalaaalllll. Then, I fried it. Then, I ground it up and mixed it with butter to make a ham salad, y’alallallalalalalalalalallllllllllll. Then, I took the ham salad, rolled it into balls, and fried those, y’aalalllll.”

I shit you not. This is what she said about the flying ham. I swearz.

So, PAULA FUCKING DEEN, CALL US! WE WANT TO TALK TO YAS ABOUT BOOKS AND FLYING FUCKING HAMS!