On Lauren Conrad’s remarkable debut novel, LA Candy, QBAH2’s Brett Sandusky once wrote the following:

Every generation, a writer of superior skill, tact and talent comes along and not only redefines the idea of literature itself but is successful at shepherding us into a new artistic age. Much like the Industrial Revolution which required the sheer force of metal upon metal of new machinery, this writer-revolutionary acts as forceful Sherpa to those of us in the art world and provides us with a conception of the world in a way that no one has ever seen or witnessed before.

It’s also a well-known face that Lauren Conrad inspired Russ’s “Just Working On My Novel” reading series.

So…join Russ and Brett and notthatLaurenbutaLauren in their journey to Mecca…as they field-trip all the way to the wastelands of Tribeca to meet Lauren Mother Fucking Conrad.

Part 1

Part 2

It’s a new year, and we’re back from hiatus. That’s right, people, Russ and I took a hiatus and didn’t even tell anyone. What’s the point these days…do we have to inform everyone of everything we do. Yes? Okay, well this is what we’ve been up to in the last month or so:

Holidays, travel on planes, family, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, (lovahs?), new jobs, old jobs, new apartments, old apartments, apartments in Trump Towers with no furniture, cocaine covered surfaces and stripper roommates, new people, old people, people who flirt with our girlfriends via email, drag shows, gay lisps, burlesque shows, tittay shows, blasphemy, clapping and screaming to blasphemy on parade, theater shows, judging people harshly for bad gay jokes, emails back and forth about being on hiatus, emails back and forth about saying “hi”, body shots, birthdays, sects parties (!), reading books, eating Indian food, writing books, knitting sweaters, vet visits, removing books from Amazon, admiring peoples’ shorts, poking fun at the book industry, emails back and forth about meeting people for drinks, meeting people for drinks, emails back and forth about previous night’s drinks, buying new clothes, throwing old clothes in the garbage, seeing old friends, drinking in bars, taverns, saloons, greasy spoons, diners, concert halls restaurants and cocktail lounges, making oatmeal, eating oatmeal, looking at street parties, cold weather repelling, planning, scheming, dreaming, sleeping, stirring the pot, watching movies, listening to new music, etc.

Obviously, one cannot say that we’ve not been busy. But, it does feel good to be back.

Oh, and MAKEFUCKINGSURE to check us out tomorrow or the next day, really…WEAREGOINGTOMEETOURFUCKINGIDOL, LAURENFUCKINGLACANDYCONRAD! She’s totes doing a “reading” in NYC…and guess which two schmucks are going to bumrush her?

Oh, and yeah…this year, it’s all about monetizing. And a secret investigation. Stay tuned!

Hey Hookrz!, it’s a new day and we are premiere-ing a new feature on QBAH2. Lick My Crit is where we take one of our favorite books and anal-ize it, like the smart people do. Up first is Brett with his critique of a generational masterpeace (sic): LA Candy’s by Lauren Conradz.

Every generation, a writer of superior skill, tact and talent comes along and not only redefines the idea of literature itself but is successful at shepherding us into a new artistic age. Much like the Industrial Revolution which required the sheer force of metal upon metal of new machinery, this writer-revolutionary acts as forceful Sherpa to those of us in the art world and provides us with a conception of the world in a way that no one has ever seen or witnessed before.

Of course, this requires many ingredients to the literary recipe, one of which is considerable risk on the part of the literarian. In this case, we are talking about a writer who, despite convention, has done the unimaginable: she has created a book with no plot, no character development, some could even say no words. Much like the grands oeuvres of Marguerite Duras which were called, in retrospect, “fatigue literature” due to the fact that fatigue itself, of the characters, of their surroundings, even of the words on the page, held a special place in the unraveling of the story, this work will one day be recognized as “static literature”. The static nature of this book is its personality. 

The book I am speaking about is LA Candy by Lauren Conrad.

With its redefinition of language, its world within a world, its considerably risky approach to “literature”, and its complete refusal to bear reverence to anything that came before it in the annals of literary history, LA Candy forces us, as a society, toward progress and it moves Art (with a capital A) onto its next phase.

Before I read a few selections, I leave you with this thought: Ultimately, literature is always about shared experience. Such experience not only reveals us to ourselves but teaches us what it means to be human.