Brett talks with @AshleighGardner, Saves Publishing

in which Brett and Russ take to Chatroulette (and explain what Chatroulette is, worry not) to sell Emily St John Mandel’s The Singer’s Gun

THIS JUST IN STOP THE PRESSES:

www.qbah2.com, the world’s first and only publishing vlog, is the SPECIAL GUEST HOST for tonight’s event at 92y tribeca (on hudson) ft “cast member confidential” author/disney park fugitive chris mitchell and cat news creator/man-lover julie klausner, author of “i don’t care about your band”.

http://cmcbychrismitchell.com

www.julieklausner.com

tickets are 12 and there will be boozeahol for sale.

EX OH HOOKERS

#breakingupwithruss

You’ve implied it. You’ve asked for it. You’ve begged us to do it. Now, it’s all here in one small video package. Brett and Russ (FINALLY) go on a date.

Brettcam meets Lauren Conrad.

On Lauren Conrad’s remarkable debut novel, LA Candy, QBAH2’s Brett Sandusky once wrote the following:

Every generation, a writer of superior skill, tact and talent comes along and not only redefines the idea of literature itself but is successful at shepherding us into a new artistic age. Much like the Industrial Revolution which required the sheer force of metal upon metal of new machinery, this writer-revolutionary acts as forceful Sherpa to those of us in the art world and provides us with a conception of the world in a way that no one has ever seen or witnessed before.

It’s also a well-known face that Lauren Conrad inspired Russ’s “Just Working On My Novel” reading series.

So…join Russ and Brett and notthatLaurenbutaLauren in their journey to Mecca…as they field-trip all the way to the wastelands of Tribeca to meet Lauren Mother Fucking Conrad.

Part 1

Part 2

Haha. Made ya look!

It’s a new year, and we’re back from hiatus. That’s right, people, Russ and I took a hiatus and didn’t even tell anyone. What’s the point these days…do we have to inform everyone of everything we do. Yes? Okay, well this is what we’ve been up to in the last month or so:

Holidays, travel on planes, family, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, (lovahs?), new jobs, old jobs, new apartments, old apartments, apartments in Trump Towers with no furniture, cocaine covered surfaces and stripper roommates, new people, old people, people who flirt with our girlfriends via email, drag shows, gay lisps, burlesque shows, tittay shows, blasphemy, clapping and screaming to blasphemy on parade, theater shows, judging people harshly for bad gay jokes, emails back and forth about being on hiatus, emails back and forth about saying “hi”, body shots, birthdays, sects parties (!), reading books, eating Indian food, writing books, knitting sweaters, vet visits, removing books from Amazon, admiring peoples’ shorts, poking fun at the book industry, emails back and forth about meeting people for drinks, meeting people for drinks, emails back and forth about previous night’s drinks, buying new clothes, throwing old clothes in the garbage, seeing old friends, drinking in bars, taverns, saloons, greasy spoons, diners, concert halls restaurants and cocktail lounges, making oatmeal, eating oatmeal, looking at street parties, cold weather repelling, planning, scheming, dreaming, sleeping, stirring the pot, watching movies, listening to new music, etc.

Obviously, one cannot say that we’ve not been busy. But, it does feel good to be back.

Oh, and MAKEFUCKINGSURE to check us out tomorrow or the next day, really…WEAREGOINGTOMEETOURFUCKINGIDOL, LAURENFUCKINGLACANDYCONRAD! She’s totes doing a “reading” in NYC…and guess which two schmucks are going to bumrush her?

Oh, and yeah…this year, it’s all about monetizing. And a secret investigation. Stay tuned!

I read a disheartening article yesterday about one of Tiger Woods’, ahem, extracurricular activities, Loredana Jolie Pitt Fellini Follana (or whatever her name is) claims that she saw Tiger fuck a dude. It all reminded me of my favorite text message on TFLN in which one guy texts his friend the following message: “Fucking a dude.” Then, a few moments later, revises his statement: “I meant: Fucking A, dude.” Response from his friend: “That comma made all the difference there, huh?”

Whether this Loredana is telling the troof or not, I really don’t care. But, here it is…this is what we all have to be afraid of.

See that? Did you see it? The last line in the first paragraph… YES! Publishing have officially become a scheme of the get-rich-quick variety. YESsssssssss!

What’cha up to, Loredana? —> Oh, nothing, just riting a buk abut Tigger fuqin a dude n schopin it ‘round for 7 figgers. U?

7 FUCKING FIGURES, people. She is currently TRYING TO SELL HER TELL-FUCKING-ALL FUCKING BOOK FOR SEVEN FUCKING FIGURES.

This really is not about Tiger (or Loredana) at all. This is about us. What does it say about our industry when mistresses of high profile athletes are banking, BANKING, on selling her tell-all shocker for 7 figures? What does it say about our claim to be the “purveyors of fine content”? (a claim which we throw in the face of self-publishing companies all the time.) What does this say about our inability to refrain from salivating over cash money making schlock? Yay for being no better than the National Inquirer! Holla back atcha!

I think Mike Cane put it best, when he said, in response to this article: #PublishingIsWhores (@mikecane, Call Us!)

Ok…so a little less soapbox and a little more bullhorn for a moment: Russ, Lucy and I are going to be interviewed on the Twitters for #followreader today at 4pm EST with the ever-fabulous @KatMeyer. Check us on the hashtag; we’ll be talking QBAH2, hookers, bookers, nookers, cookers, vookers, lookers, and maybe (just maybe) Jersey Shore. (Not really.) (Really.) (No way.) (Way.) (No.) (Yes.) (No.)(Uh huh.)